Is It Always Bad To Lie?

In her review of Playing the Lying Game: Detecting and Dealing with Lies and Liars, from Occasional Fibbers to Frequent Fabricators by Gini Graham Scott, Ngoc Bui notes:

[F]orensic psychologists and clinical psychologists would be most interested in the last chapter of the text on deceiving and perceiving lies and what to do if one is lied to or caught lying, given that their work deals with helping others (e.g., individuals, spouses, friends, family, and police) detect lying. Scott cites Paul Ekman, an expert on lying research, who states that detecting lies among those who truly believe their lies or have good control over their body, face, and voice is very difficult. However, some telling clues include increased blinking or pupil dilation, blushing, blanching, or facial sweating…

While psychologists have been concerned with detecting others' lies, whether in criminal interrogation or clinical therapy situations, little is said about the benefits of lying. Is it ever ethical or appropriate to teach people how to engage in some minimal or less serious lying as a way of improving their social skills? Could adding (minimal) lying to someone's social skill set be helpful to them in relationships with friends, family, or coworkers?

Read the Review

Basically, We All Lie
By Ngoc H. Bui
      PsycCRITIQUES, 2010 Vol 55(37)

Comments

[Amy]

That sounds like an interesting read – thank you for mentioning it here!

For the latter questions, I suggest Mark Rowland's "The Philosopher and the Wolf". Rowland's (and there are evolutionary psychologists and anthropologists who support this) describes deception as part of our simian nature. He points to research and experiments that show our primate cousins are capable of deceiving their fellow apes, e.g. to acquire food and other gains.

[Mac Caplan]

Scott’s book, Basically, We All Lie, sounds like a fascinating examination of the role of lying within our culture, the times when lying is excused, even beneficial and those times when it is detrimental. While the obvious excuse for lying, not wanting to hurt another’s feelings is pervasive and nearly universally accepted; I found Scott’s depiction of the various types of liars more compelling. The calculating approach of a liar, who uses a cost-benefit analysis to evaluate if the ends justify the means, peaked my interest. The Lie-Q test, an assessment tool for determining liar type, also caught my attention. This would be beneficial for all of us to utilize, especially mental health clinicians.

While specific, mild, lying may benefit our relationships by minimizing unnecessary hurt, the line between mild and severe can become blurred and easily distorted. One needs to be aware of his or her own tendency towards lying and the motivations behind such lies before that person can decide if the lie in question is benefiting that individual or the person being lied to.